sister moon love: Bethany's story

Bethany Gurrola, creator, and owner
 of sister moon

'I am practicing loving myself every day' I wrote in cursive letters with a jelly pen on a red strip of construction paper.  I folded the paper into a small rectangle and placed it into Miya's mason jar.  Miya is nine years old and smiled, thanked me, and then continues to write out her eleven affirmations; intended to be gifted to each girl (including herself) in the sister moon circle. 

"The self-love jars are to remind ourselves that we're just learning, growing, changing," said Bethany Gurrola, owner, and creator of the sister moon series. "(They are) to make sure that our love for ourselves comes first before our love for others.  We can't fully love others until we love ourselves." 

Self-love jar decorated by Bethany. 
The girls fill the jars with affirmations and take them home at the end of the series

The self-love jar is a staple practice in the sister moon series. Bethany decorates mason jars individually and each girl receives a jar personalized with her name. The girls write affirmations every day, making up their own or using a template provided by Bethany, and place them into each other's jars. 

I am lucky enough to be a yoga instructor in the sister moon series.  I am even luckier because Bethany is one of my best friends.  Our friendship is the oldest and most loyal I've had in my life.  Bethany and I experienced most of life's big moments together.  When I had my first kiss, rented my very first apartment, and had my first heartbreak, Bethany was by my side.  She is the yin to my yang, the banana to my peanut butter, the light guiding me on a dark day.

Me teaching the girls warrior 1

As her growing business evolved, sister moon morphed into a six-week series. The series teaches girls ages 9-12 about their body, anatomy, autonomy, consent, the menstrual cycle along with different healthy coping mechanisms, friendships, and "anything that comes up during puberty." Bethany created sister moon primarily to teach young girls that, "puberty, periods and sex aren't so scary and (shouldn't be) centered around shame and disgust."

As I slumped with Bethany on her couch, we began to decompress from the last series we worked together. We chatted about our exhaustion and excitement. We were overwhelmed by the love cultivated from the energy of the 11 girls in the series. 

The circle set up includes blankets for the girls to sit on,
self-love jars, and worksheets

"Every circle and every series is customized to the girls that are in it," she said as we sat together. Her Chiwini dog, Rooby, watched us intently and anxiously sought attention.

Bethany said she likes to do a one on one phone call with parents before the series begins. 

"I get a feel of who the girls are and what they need from sister moon." 

The series spans typically over six weeks, where once a week 9-11 girls ages 9-12 meet in a circle and discuss various topics related to the struggles and revelations of puberty. The girls also do crafts related to self-care and creativity, such as decorating journals and making mud masks. They learn that they are not alone in what is often the first volatile phase in their lives.  

Making mud masks in the park

"I wish that I had the space to be comfortable asking questions and being excited and curious, but I never got that," Bethany said sitting upright. "This is why sister moon is here. It's something that I never received and always wanted. I've experienced amazing healing through creating the series."

A defining element in the series is its puberty centric teachings. The girls devote an entire day to learn about their period. To aid learning, Bethany brings interactive books, shares stories, and puts an informational video explaining the cycles of a woman's body up on a projector. She stops the video and explains in more detail, the girls take notes in their newly decorated journals, and they can comment and ask questions. Bethany also brings a stuffed uterus, popularly named Flo, to use as a sort of talking stick. If someone holds Flo, they are speaking, and all other girls must practice active listening. 

Flo, the stuffed uterus, drawn by Olivia,
age nine in her sister moon journal

"I tap into that space and morph into this very authentic version of myself," she said of her persona while teaching. 

Bethany also shares different methods for assisting girls with their period. From tampons to pads to period panties, Bethany demonstrates how each process works. She offers suggestions on why they might choose one method over another, all the while leaving the girls to decide what they want to use once they start their period.

"It's very cool to see them touching menstrual cups and being stoked on it," she said.

On this particular day of the series, Bethany shares her own story of her first period while the girls listen intently about her experience.

A woman never forgets the first time she got her period. I was 11 years old, and I remember I started crying on my purple ruffled bed for hours feeling scared and ashamed. 

The girls exploring, Vaginas and Periods 101: A Pop-Up Book
by Christian Hoeger and Kristen Lilla, Illustrated by Sara Lyons

"I just want nothing more than for the girls to know that they're just normal and that there are different variations of normal," Bethany said to me. She continued explaining that part of her goal is to remove the shame associated with getting one's period.
"Why do you think you tap into your authentic self while teaching the girls?" I asked while petting Rooby.

"Something about their energy makes me feel seen," she responded with tears in her eyes. "I feel like I embody someone that I wish I would have had and so I feel like that person is very much inside of me. She has been slowly transforming. I feel like she comes out in that space because a huge part of me is to mentor, teach, support, and love. They're the perfect people to do that with because puberty sucks. You think the world is ending and it is so hard, and then you have people saying like: it's not that bad, but it feels that bad…."

It seems that the love created in the circle has produced a type of intimacy that enables Bethany to be seen and also allows her to see herself more clearly. In that space, Bethany is also safe to be the type of woman that she understands herself to be, the woman that she truly is.

The girls sign the 'heart agreement' at the start of each day. 
This agreement outlines the guidelines for respect in the series

"I want to teach the girls that even though they may not have their period yet, they can still be supportive of the people in their lives that do you have them," she said gleaming. "So if they notice a girl that has a stain on their pants, they are not going to make fun of her. Instead, they'll say: 'I have a pad if you want one.' I want to help raise and guide an amazing generation of girls who are going to have each other's backs. We have so much against us already; we need to have each other's backs at least.  We need to be able to show up for each other."

Senior year in high school
 (look at Bethany's flip phone!)

Bethany and I grew up together. We met in sophomore year in high school, and, just like many of us, both experienced the social pressures to be someone we were not. We didn't know how to navigate our emotions, cope with life's stresses, or be ourselves in a crowded landscape of inauthenticity. 

Potluck on the last day of the series.

"I still remember being in high school and feeling so alone and thinking nobody liked me," Bethany confessed. "I (didn't feel) pretty enough or smart enough.  A lot of it came from being hormonally imbalanced. But there is also societal, school, and peer pressures. Sister moon is a safe space for them to learn coping mechanisms so that when those tough situations come up, they can navigate them in ways that feel good to them."

I've always had Bethany's back, and she has always had mine. We have allowed each other to change, to express ourselves, even our unpleasant sides. Even if we hadn't gone months without talking, we always pick up where we left off. We forgave each other when necessary, and apologized when we felt we needed to. 

I didn't think it was possible, but working the series together has brought us closer. It's curious that while teaching the girls about quality relationships, we reinforce values within our own friendship. 

Mother figures join the closing circle

At the end of each series, Bethany organizes a potluck, inviting all of the girls' mother figures. Under a tree in a nearby park, about 20 women sit in a circle and reminisce about the series. There are tears of happiness and lots of laughter. Love permeates as a soft breeze through the overhead redwood trees. The girls sit in the laps of their mothers, looking up at them with a smile knowing they are about to cross over from youth to womanhood. 




If you are interested in signing your daughter up for the next series, please contact @pomyoga or @sister_moon_series on instagram
email: hennabyb@gmail.com

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An affirmation from one of the girls Bethany received in her self-love jar