Loving yourself in the face of rejection, the underbelly of romantic love
We've all experienced it: rejection, the underbelly of romantic love. When we put ourselves out there in the dating world, there is a very real possibility that we might be rejected by the one we desire. It hurts, and that's why we try to protect ourselves. We build walls, we pretend, and sometimes we lie to ourselves.
I have always tried to avoid rejection. I am the one to call it quits when a relationship goes stale, I very rarely make the first move, and, in the beginning, I let my partner take the lead in texting, calling, etc. I guess you could say that my rejection threshold is pretty low because of this--I have rarely put myself out there without knowing the other person was there with me fully.
Recently, I experienced a dramatic, disrespectful form of rejection. One that ended with me walking out of an argument in tears. I had to ask myself after this dramatic scene, what's with the dishonesty? Being rejected hurts, and so does rejecting someone. But why do we find it so hard to face the person and just be honest? Why must we play games, create unnecessary drama, and tell someone things just because we think they want to hear them? What is the point?
Of course, there is more to this story, but I want to focus on my journey of self-recovery, a way to find love for myself after feeling so terrible about someone else's actions.
As I said, we've all experienced rejection at some point in our lives. I believe it is a part of the experience of romantic love--and just putting yourself out there in life in general. It's also an opportunity to love yourself more.
3 reasons why you should love yourself more in the face of rejection:
1. What other people do is about them not about you. I could have very easily spiraled into an unhealthy habit of self-doubt, thinking it was my fault, that I did something to be rejected. The thing is, people are living their own reality. What they do was a reflection of who they are not who you are.
2. You were yourself and living authentically means that not all will appreciate you. A quick route to unhappiness is trying to be liked by everyone and being rejected by someone can signify that you are doing something right. You can't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's a very good thing. Verity is what makes love and life so vibrant.
3. You took a chance. If you've never been hurt by putting yourself out there chances are you aren't living outside your comfort zone. Congratulate yourself on taking a chance. Even "bad experiences" are not necessarily bad experiences. They all combine together to make a more complete, more wise version of who you are.
So if you need to feel sad, feel sad. But don't be sad for too long. And don't let rejection stop you from trying again. Pick yourself up and move forward. It's another reason to love yourself more because you are unique, you are beautiful inside and out and you don't need anyone to tell you because you just know.
Have you ever been rejected? How did you recover? Share your stories below.
I have always tried to avoid rejection. I am the one to call it quits when a relationship goes stale, I very rarely make the first move, and, in the beginning, I let my partner take the lead in texting, calling, etc. I guess you could say that my rejection threshold is pretty low because of this--I have rarely put myself out there without knowing the other person was there with me fully.
Recently, I experienced a dramatic, disrespectful form of rejection. One that ended with me walking out of an argument in tears. I had to ask myself after this dramatic scene, what's with the dishonesty? Being rejected hurts, and so does rejecting someone. But why do we find it so hard to face the person and just be honest? Why must we play games, create unnecessary drama, and tell someone things just because we think they want to hear them? What is the point?
Of course, there is more to this story, but I want to focus on my journey of self-recovery, a way to find love for myself after feeling so terrible about someone else's actions.
As I said, we've all experienced rejection at some point in our lives. I believe it is a part of the experience of romantic love--and just putting yourself out there in life in general. It's also an opportunity to love yourself more.
3 reasons why you should love yourself more in the face of rejection:
1. What other people do is about them not about you. I could have very easily spiraled into an unhealthy habit of self-doubt, thinking it was my fault, that I did something to be rejected. The thing is, people are living their own reality. What they do was a reflection of who they are not who you are.
2. You were yourself and living authentically means that not all will appreciate you. A quick route to unhappiness is trying to be liked by everyone and being rejected by someone can signify that you are doing something right. You can't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's a very good thing. Verity is what makes love and life so vibrant.
3. You took a chance. If you've never been hurt by putting yourself out there chances are you aren't living outside your comfort zone. Congratulate yourself on taking a chance. Even "bad experiences" are not necessarily bad experiences. They all combine together to make a more complete, more wise version of who you are.
So if you need to feel sad, feel sad. But don't be sad for too long. And don't let rejection stop you from trying again. Pick yourself up and move forward. It's another reason to love yourself more because you are unique, you are beautiful inside and out and you don't need anyone to tell you because you just know.
Have you ever been rejected? How did you recover? Share your stories below.
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